Building Confidence When Anxiety Holds You Back

Building self-confidence isn’t about feeling fearless, it’s about learning you are capable even when something is difficult.  It grows through small, consistent actions that remind us we're capable of handling whatever comes our way. Whether you're navigating a new job, a relationship change or helping your child who is struggling with self-confidence, anxiety can make even familiar situations feel overwhelming.

As a therapist working with clients dealing with anxiety I've seen how building confidence becomes especially important when our minds are already working overtime. Here are five practical ways to strengthen your or your child’s self-confidence, even when anxiety is tagging along for the ride.

1. Connect

Confidence grows when we feel connected. When anxiety tells you to isolate, connection becomes even more important. Supportive people can remind you of your strengths when your brain is focused on your fears. 

Try this: Set aside 10 minutes each day to check in with someone who matters to you. It could be a quick text, a phone call or grabbing coffee. Notice how you feel during and after these interactions. Pay attention to the people who leave you feeling more like yourself, not less.

2. Prioritize Sleep

It's hard to feel confident when you're running on empty. Sleep isn’t a luxury or something you can catch up on later. Good sleep hygiene directly impacts your ability to manage anxiety and show up as your best self.

What works: Create a calming bedtime routine that signals to your brain it's time to wind down. Try to keep the same sleep schedule throughout the week. Your body and mind need that predictability, especially when everything else feels uncertain.

3. Problem-Solve

Anxiety loves to convince us we can't handle things. One of the most powerful confidence builders is proving anxiety wrong by tackling challenges.

Next time you face a challenge: Before asking for help or avoiding the situation entirely, pause and ask yourself, "How might I solve this?" You don't have to have the perfect answer. The act of considering your options builds trust in your own ability to handle problems.

4. Mange Anxiety

Whether it's a presentation, a difficult conversation or a medical appointment, high-stakes situations can trigger anxiety. Having a simple go-to strategy helps you move through these moments rather than getting stuck in them.

How to help yourself: Create a pre-game ritual that calms your nervous system. Take three slow deep breaths, name five things you can see or use a reminder phrase that resonates with you. Find what works and use it consistently. 

5. Name Your Emotions

Confidence doesn't mean feeling positive all the time. It means being able to acknowledge the full range of what you're feeling without letting any single emotion define you.

You might feel nervous and excited about the same opportunity. Sad about an ending and hopeful about what's next. All of it can be true at once.

Pro tip: Name what you're feeling. Sometimes just identifying "I'm anxious about this" or "I'm feeling overwhelmed" takes away some of anxiety’s power. If you're struggling to find the words, a feelings wheel or emotions chart can help.

When to Seek Support

Building self-confidence is ongoing work. If you're noticing that anxiety is interfering with your or your child’s daily life, relationships or ability to function, reaching out for professional support is a sign of strength.

Anxiety therapy can help you build confidence and calm so you can connect with what matters most to you.  I work with children, teens and adults who are managing anxiety, ADHD and life’s changes. I offer convenient sessions in person at my Lacey and Tumwater offices and online for Washington State residents.

Reach out to schedule a consultation or learn more about how anxiety therapy can support you.